Sunday, September 30, 2007

Bumps and bruises

This is one of the few posts for which I'm glad not to have photos to share with you. Tobin has been collecting bruises and scratches for the last couple of weeks. The effect is somewhere closer to cute, tough-looking kid than anything negative, but I feel likes it's a preview of what we're in for the next few years. At the time of this writing, Tobin has a big red scratch/scab on his nose, a fading shiner under his left eye, a light bruise on his left cheek, scratches on both of his knees and a collection of scratches and scrapes on his left arm. He routinely challenges inanimate objects in the house. His weapon of choice is the broad part of his forehead. Wielded like a battering ram, his forehead has taken on the following [parenthetical notes indicate T's win-loss against his opponents so far]: Bookshelves (0-1), Doors (0-2), Stacks of books (1-2), Fridge (1-3), Hannah (2-3) and, in a lopsided loss for Tobin, Coffee table (2-4). His running style, while not polished, is able to generate pretty amazing force. If you'd like to calculate the physics of impact, use the following: Tobin's weight (m) = 12.02kg. I think his maximum speed (v) is about 6.44 km/h over short distances. Do the math and you'll see what I mean.

You might be concerned about his losing record the last few weeks, but remember he was nearly undefeated all summer against CD jewel cases and DVDs. In fact, his mastery of CD/DVD domination necessitated the purchase of a new media cabinet before all of his opponents were scratched beyond use. He also is nearing a tie with Hannah in their lifelong headbutt battle.

My mom and dad might see this as a kind of poetic justice, since the story goes that I was rarely without a visible bruise on my head between the ages of 12 months and 3 years. We'll keep you updated. Until then, prepare your house for blunt impact, delivered and received by the most charming battering ram you've ever seen.

No comments: